Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Medication tips for the Working Poor

  • Disabled?
  • Chronically ill?
  • Hounded back to work by Welfare-to-Workhouse?
  • Lost your pharmaceutical benefit?
  • Can't afford your prescription meds any more?
On behalf of her fellow working poor, DH has volunteered her body for a medical experiment, a delicate clinical wallet-relining procedure, and the results so far are positive: She is still alive.
And the good news is:
Your only financial outlay is a good sharp razor
No, not like that, silly people.
You also need a bit of acting talent and a fair bit of chutzpah
Here's what you do
  1. Go visit your local GP, (Finding one who still bulk bills is good)
  2. Tell them your symptoms have dramatically escalated
  3. Apply liberally any of: graphically clutching your side, limping, downcast gaze, wild-eyed, suspicious gaze, or similar extemporisations
  4. Convince them you need a larger dose of your meds. (Go for 4 times, but even 2 times larger is good)
  5. Voila! Your medication costs have just halved or quartered per month!
  6. Simply apply the razor as exactly as you can. (Avoid pill-cutters, one of the greatest minor frauds practised on the gullible citizenry. Unless you take triangular pills, of course)
Its very important to follow this procedure. Simply going to your GP and asking for a double dose because you can't afford your meds anymore will be met with frowns of disapproval and nonsense about how, "This is not good clinical practise, because you cannot deliver a stable dose"
DH has been doing this for a couple of months now, and she's still more or less OK, if somewhat woozy, erratic, and unpredictable from time to time. On the other hand, she can apply the savings to other health improvers like better food, and gym fees, thus doing a favor to herself and long term health benefits to the taxpayer

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